Saturday, 26 November 2016

BF? GF? please?

bf to me is always best friend..
gf to me is always good friend..
i have always wanted bf..
rather than gf..
but i only have a few bf..
and she is one of them..
but i made her mad yesterday..
it was for sure one of the worst night i had this year..
its all my fault..
why am i always like this..
its not the first time already..
but why am i always like this..
i am really sorry..
but i shouldnt have made that kind of mistake..
no reasons..
my bad is my bad..
cant argue with that..
i only wish i can do something to compensate..
but i shouldnt have gone for this option..
i am really sorry..
i didnt even expect that i will feel so lost now..
so tired..
why am i being like this..
why?
am i still scare?
scare that one day i will not even have the right to care anymore..
this is no good..
i am starting to overthinking again..
i really do care..
care so much..
so much more than you know..
so much more than you thought..
but..
my actions dont show that..
i just felt like i am in no position to show that..
i am willing to take all the blame.
all the pain..
but i definitely will not want others to judge you..
everytime i am being cautious..
its not about me..
its about you..
probably that is why i chose to be alone..
but there are certain people that i wouldnt want to give up..
in australia..
you are one of the two..
are we meant to walk a different path?
am i just a passer by?

everytime when my line has a message..
i always thought it will be you..
cause you are the only one that i am chatting with using line..
it has always been like this for years..
i dont talk to many people..
really..
only a handful..
i will need to learn how to be grateful for them to be in my life..
and how to appreciate them..
definitely i am only one call away..

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